Day 196: A Wet Happy New Year

I tracked the weather forecasts last night and this morning, and they all reported that the rains would happen during the morning and early afternoon. So I waited patiently for the afternoon before heading out for my ride. I even took a mid morning nap in order to help rest up before the ride. By 2:00 pm there had been no rains, and the sun was even trying to poke out, so I started to gather my fair weather riding gear.

By the time that I had gotten my bike tuned up and ready to ride, and my gear on, it was just about 3:00 pm. I knew that I had a little over two hours of daylight to play with, so I headed towards the West Point Inn via Railroad Grade. Of course, the rains that had eluded us in the morning, had decided to wait for me to begin my ride. I didn’t even think to bring my rain gear. I was beginning to get rained on almost immediately after I started to ride up Railroad Grade. I decided to just keep on going instead of riding back home to collect my rain gear. I just changed my original riding plans in order to shorten the ride in order to stay warm. Uugh.

I made the best of the day’s cruddy weather and had a good time anyway. I was wet and cold, but I knew that it would be a short-lived issue, and not a problem.

I was prone to reflecting again today. It was a year ago to the day that “N” was supposed to be coming home after a one-month stay at Serenity Knolls. I had made many preparations for her return home. I had rehabilitated the house with new carpets and floors, and then I also made it a “sober living environment.” I had packed up things like wine glasses and bottle openers, and I removed anything that could have been a reminder of alcohol. I did my best to create an environment that was conducive to her sobriety.

A day or two before she was supposed to be released, I received a call from her during which she announced that she needed to stay for another month. I was already feeling stretched financially, and yet in the end, and after consulting with a “counselor,” I came up with the majority of the money that was needed for the next month’s treatment. We should do anything for the ones that we love, right? I was still in that mode of self-sacrifice. I was still believing that there was a marriage to be saved, and that "N's" sobriety would be a major first step in the right direction.

It’s just amazing for me to think back to a year ago, and the gut-wrenching feelings that I had over what was transpiring. It was such an awful time for me. In the end I guess that I’ll be able to live with myself, and my decisions to help and support my wife during a time when she was completely lost. 

As I walk through life nowadays, I look much more cautiously at what I see, even if it seems as plain as day. I will no longer look at something that’s black, and then immediately assume or believe that it’s truly black.

The holidays have made me review where I’ve been, and where I’m going, with greater scrutiny and care. I’m left thinking and believing that the second half of my life will be better than the first. I have a lot of work to do in order to get there, but I believe that I will persevere.

Distance: 17.70 miles
Calories burned: 2,048
Time: 1:47:48 hours
Elevation gain: 2,397 ft
Garmin Connect ride details: http://connect.garmin.com/activity/21459832