Day 156: Tired but not Willing to Change my Flight Plan

I woke up late today after hanging out with friends last night. I think that I got to bed at about 3:00 am, and that was unheard of for me some 12 months ago. Back then I would have been asleep by 10:00 pm, if not sooner. Don’t get me wrong, I still get to sleep early on most nights, but when having fun with friends the clock seems to disappear from my thinking. I got an Email this morning while I was sipping my Peets coffee. It was my friend “M” talking about bike stuff. I thought about the fact that I had overslept and was long past making it to the Saturday Morning ride, and then thought that I’d call “M” to see if he was free to “go long” today. Going long is my way of indicating that I want to do a long ride. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that he was into going with me. :- ) He came over shortly thereafter, and we did a little pre-ride maintenance on my front porch where we were watched over by Tugboat. He was guarding “M’s” oatmeal cereal that he’d brought over in a large coffee mug. Boys will be boys. These two get along great! We left after tending to the crapped-out cables on our Blurs. Happy shifting while starting out on a long ride is always a nice feeling. “M” was still having a little leftover shifting issue that seemed to work itself out as we rode. That was good.

The idea today was to ride directly to the top of Mount Tamalpais’ East Peak before traversing and then climbing over to the West Peak via the road. From there we would take the fire road over to Rock Springs, and then down to the lakes on the back side, where we would wrap around them, before ascending back via Eldridge Grade. It’s a substantial ride for one guy that’s tired (me), and another that’s getting back into great riding condition one ride at a time (“M”). After climbing up to East Peak, I was really not feeling great in the saddle. Then, Miles was absent from the Snack Shack today, so I was forced to make my purchase from the sometimes-evil Coke machine. I fortunately had a crisp one dollar bill that worked on the first try. “M” arrived minutes later, and he too had luck with the Coke machine. Yahoo! We sat at the bench for a while, where I kind of sank into it's soft wood and contemplated bailing out on the original ride plan. I could have easily headed back from there, and it still would have been a legit ride, so-to-speak. I told “M” about how I was feeling, and I’m pretty sure that he would have been OK with me if I had bailed on the long ride, but that wouldn’t have been right for me to alter what I had originally committed too. Commitment has become absolutely crucial to my recovery. I had lost my sense of commitment over the years while living with an alcoholic. People like "G," that new me when I was one of the most committed people on the planet, is still floored by how far off track I got. So I acknowledged out loud to "M" about my hesitance to move on to the next leg of our journey together, but right then I sucked it up, and quit my whining. I had nothing to whine about. It was a gorgeous day, in a beautiful place, and I was with a friend. What more does one need for incentive to move on?

He and I headed onward, and within a few miles I was feeling pretty good again on the bike. By the time that we started the climb back out of the lakes area, I was feeling pretty darn good. On the first climb back to Eldridge Grade, I began to feel quite good, and on the climb up Eldridge Grade I felt strong again. How weird is that? Thank you to my legs, or to someone! I still feel looked after, and if I were to guess, it would be my brother Rick's long and protective arm reaching down and nudging me forward. He was like that; he was a pillar of strength for me that I'll never forget. If only his kids could have known him. That's my family's greatest tragedy, and one from which I doubt that I'll ever recover. I'm just not that strong. Not many things can bring me to tears in an instant, but as I write about my beloved brother...

We rode back to Mill Valley together via Coasters, and then Tank Turns, where we were both having fun on our FS Santa Cruz bikes. I was wearing a Camelback which was causing some discomfort on my ribs as I bounced down the trail at speed, but it was all good in the end. Riding the Blur is very helpful in making my ribs forget that I'm rolling down a mountain.

All in all, today was a great day in the saddle. Being committed to the ride, and then executing it, made me feel stronger on the inside. Not too long ago, I would have called it a day, rather than to remain committed to the ride. ;-) Thanks for the great ride “M.” Upon returning home, and after "M" left, Tugboat expressed his interest in acting up. He had been in the house for about four hours without his walk, so he was all about letting me know that he was ready to go! This photo shows his loving way of letting me know. On his back, and with his legs pushing up towards the ceiling with gusto. I just love my boy.

Distance: 25.63 miles Calories burned: 2,410 Time: 2:53:05 hours Elevation gain: 3,855 Garmin Connect ride details: http://connect.garmin.com/activity/19349632

Day 155: Beating the Weather

Now that we’re in late fall and nearly into winter, I follow the weather forecasts really closely. As of last night’s 10 O-clock news, the rains were to begin in earnest by 6:00 am this morning. So I decided to stay up later than normal, and I had hoped to sleep in if I did. For some reason when it’s cloudy, cold, and inclement, I can sleep longer than normal. Yahoo, since I haven’t been sleeping as well as I’d like lately. Sure enough, I slept pretty well last night; however when I woke up this morning the rains still hadn’t begun. I was really hoping that they would have started early so that they would pass before the afternoon. The rains finally came after 9:00 am, and they were preceded by heavy duty winds that shook the windows in my little cottage. As I worked from my home office, I watched the weather system intensifying, all the while worrying that I’d now be forced to be out there riding in the middle of a squall. Things began to look up for me just after noontime today. I began to get into my riding gear as soon as the rains had seemed to be passing and the radar looked good. I quickly headed out for my trip up Mount Tamalpais with only a few sprinkles hitting my face along the way. I stopped on West Blithedale in order to take in the last of the leaves that are falling to the ground. I used to live back east when I was a kid, and I still miss the changing seasons, but if you look closely enough here in CA you’ll find a bit of the same. At least it was a pleasant reminder that I had today. The higher that I went on the mountain, the more beautiful the weather and the views became. I was stunned by how lucky I was to have missed what could have been a very cold and wet ride. It’s always a pleasure to be on the mountain as the weather systems move east (usually east). Today was no exception. I had a front row seat that I fully enjoyed as I climbed up the mountain. Being high on the mountain is spiritually reenforcing, and it makes me feel as small as I actually am compared to the natural world. An ant, or a grain of sand, but just a very, very small piece of the puzzle. I like that reminder, because it keeps me honest and my eyes wide open. I did virtually the same ride as yesterday. Today’s ride was obviously in the wet, but Mount Tamalpais drains really well, especially on its fire roads, so there's very little mud to fight. So today I got a little wet and muddy, and a bit cold on the descent, but all in all it was a great day on the mountain. I feel like I’m being watched over by someone while on this journey back to health and happiness. Hmmm… Distance: 18.94 miles Calories burned: 1,530 Time: 1:47:15 hours Elevation gain: 2,493 Garmin Connect ride details: http://connect.garmin.com/activity/19231884

Day 154: It's Cold Out There

When I left for my ride today I checked the temperature gauge that’s outside my window, and it said 61 degrees. Hah! It may have been that warm right there, dangling off of my window, however I can confirm that it wasn’t even close to being that warm up on the mountain, and not even in the shade 100 yards away on Miller Ave.

As I rode up the grade today to the West Point Inn, I would freeze in the shade, and then warm up slightly once that I was back in the sun. It may be that I’ve lost weight and therefore have less of a “protective layer.” I’m not going to over think this since the solution is pretty darn simple, wear more layers. I’ll be frequenting the bros at Tam Bikes this weekend, and stocking up on winter gear before I freeze my toes off. Other than the cold, the day was absolutely beautiful, and the skies virtually clear. Tomorrow the rains begin again, and if the local weathermen are right, I’ll be riding in the afternoon after the main event passes through in the morning. We’ll see how things play out.

I’ve taken multiple shots of the picnic tables that line the outside edge of the intersection of Railroad Grade and Old Stage, oh, and also the Nora Trail. I’m really interested in watching the angle of the light as it goes through the seasons. You can see just how low the sun was today by looking at the shadows being cast from the west. It will fun for me to look back at these photos next year. Well, I’m going to keep it short tonight. I have laundry to do, food to cook, a loving dog to walk, a dozen other things that are lingering on my plate right now. Aack!

Distance: 18.00 miles Calories burned: 1,405 Time: 1:42:56 hours Elevation gain: 2,065 Garmin Connect ride details: http://connect.garmin.com/activity/19231884

Day 153: More Helicopter Action

As I rode up Mount Tamalpais today I could hear the roar of a helicopter on the mountain. It was the same heavy thumping that I’d heard on a previous ride, so I was immediately focused on the source. I could tell that the helicopter was high on the mountain, and sure enough, I could eventually see it once that I had reached Double Bow Knot. It was hovering near the mountain’s saddle, it then landed and killed off its engine. I continued riding up Railroad Grade at a relaxed pace while trying to be cognizant of my ribs as I was gliding over bumps and ruts on my full suspension bike. My ribs felt better today, but all it would take to reinjure them would be one “off,” and that’s it. It’s VERY RARE for an experienced rider to fall while riding on Railroad Grade. Perhaps if my name were "Melvis" I’d be more concerned. My good friend is known for random crashes on the easiest of trails. Sorry Melvis, I had to put that out there. ;-) Once at the West Point Inn I could hear the helicopter firing up its engine again, and soon enough it was in the air, right in front of my eyes, and traveling down to the Hog Back fire road. It was then that I could notice that it was flying down to where there were crews doing work. I also noticed that this was not the same helicopter that I’d seen a couple of weeks back. This one was indeed being a bit of a Mule for PG&E. It was running things like power poles and equipment back and forth between teams of workers. I had heard from my friend “F” that they were on the mountain and doing this work, and that I had probably seen one of these helicopters on the mountain. I had been concerned that the Sheriff was breaking out the heavy artillery in order to search for mountain bikers on single track. Hmmm.

So I continued up to the top of Tam, which remained completely open compared to the first time that the helicopters were on the mountain. In fact, I was able to ride to within 20 yards of the running helicopter without anyone even asking me what I was doing there. As it took off I was rocked back and forth by the winds being generated by its rotors. I’ve got to say that I love the smell of jet fuel, and I must have reeked of it by the time it was done taking off. Afterwards I spoke with the PG&E ground crew, and they explained to me what they’re doing, and it all sounds like good work to be doing for all of us. I then asked them about the “other helicopter” and they said, “Oh, you mean the sheriffs?” I said, “I guess so.” I was playing it down a bit. Anyway, they confirmed that the Sheriff has been on the mountain, including flying around in one their helicopters. What are they looking for? I’ve heard various rumors, but what’s the truth? It’s kind of worse than radar being used in a known speed trap. Uugh. Don’t we have better places to put our law enforcement resources to use? How about helping my neighbor find the guy that stole his bike, or how about ticketing the guy that almost took me out with his car as I crossed Miller Ave. two nights ago? Better yet, how about working together? Mountain bikers would flock to help on “trail days” to maintain what they consider to be precious trails, BUT they can’t even openly participate. I do believe that things will change as the cycling community continues to gain strength through membership, but we need to be smart about how we participate, and not alienate other trail users. Trail stewardship is key to our success in promoting safe and legal Mountain biking, here and elsewhere. OK, I’m going to get off the stump now and get back to feeding Tugboat, and then hopefully myself. Bye for now. Distance: 18.27 miles Calories burned: 1,520 Time: 1:47:07 hours Elevation gain: 2,417 Garmin Connect ride details: http://connect.garmin.com/player/19157623

Day 152: Feeling Exposed

I need to say that I’m feeling quite a bit exposed through my writings. Don’t get me wrong, I want to share my story, and my return to being healthy, but it’s not easy to lay my life out there for everyone on the planet. My idea to share my journey in this way was by design. I felt, and still feel, that it will benefit me, and many others, and I know that it already has. That said, it still doesn’t make my discomfort with being so open about my life just disappear. I will of course continue to be completely transparent, at least as best that I can, but I want to let you know that I don’t necessarily enjoy writing about the crap that I’ve endured, and that I continue to endure. I want and need to put all of this down in writing, and I definitely want to continue to have it impact the lives of others in a positive way, but I also want to be clear that this process makes me very uncomfortable in my own skin. I've used the word “exposed,” because that’s what I’m doing. I’m exposing my daily journey back to health, and along the way I’m sharing incredibly personal information. If my mother were alive she’d want to kill me for doing this. ;-) Family secrets? Not anymore. Sorry Mom. So I’m just putting this out there to you, so that you understand just how difficult this is for me. The riding is the easy part, if you can imagine that as being the easy part, but that’s the fact. Sitting here writing about my past, present, and future, is the difficult part of Riding to Recovery. According to Yoda, I’m healing incredibly quickly, but I still see many hurdles for me as I move my life forward. I’m not a betting man, but I’d bet that I have at least another year of work in order to get my life back in check from confronting the past. I’ve asked this before, and here it is again, “Please wish me luck.”

Today I broke away midday with my good friend “F.” We were in sync today in terms of timing and such, so we got onto our road bikes and pedaled towards the Paradise Loop. I was nursing my broken ribs during today’s ride, and that was good for me. It was a fairly smooth route without a lot of out of the saddle climbing. “F” and I work together daily, and it’s pretty amazing that we can actually get a lot of business done while we’re rolling along at 17 or 18 mph, but we do. It’s funny how real dyed-in-the-wool cyclists can actually communicate better while pedaling. ;-) We did a quick “lap,” and then made our way back to headquarters where we went right back to business. I guess that when one loves cycling as we do, you adapt to your environment so that you can continue to do what feels right for you. Thanks for the ride today, “F,” it was a good catch up ride.

Distance: 21.54 miles Calories burned: 1,350 Time: 1:25:17 Elevation gain: 832 Garmin Connect ride details: http://connect.garmin.com/activity/19061094

Day 151: My Shortest Ride

I finally succumb to the advice of friends today. I’ve been fighting many hurdles lately, and I now need to be realistic about my health. To fill in the blanks if you’re a first time reader, I broke my ribs a couple of months ago while enjoying a wonderful ride on Mount Tamalpais. It wasn’t the first time that I’ve broken my ribs. There was the drunk driver that hit me while I was driving my car to work in 1982 or 1983, and then I had an “off” while riding with friends five or six years ago. So the pain is familiar, and quite distinct.

This time was not much different in terms of pain. At first there was none, and then as I rode on the pain increased, at which point I knew that I was in for a long recovery from broken ribs. It’s a dull pain that simply takes time to overcome. I’m fortunately fairly immune to pain, or in clinical terms, I have a high threshold for pain.

So now that I’m making a long story longer, I broke my ribs, and then I went through the healing process, all the while riding each day and pretending that I wasn’t injured. Then I caught the nasty cold that’s been going around, during which I'd experience multiple hour-long coughing attacks. During one of these attacks my recently fractured rib/s finally gave way under the stress. So my ribs were broken again. L So I was then sick and having massive coughing attacks with broken ribs… Ouch!

My ribs started healing again,while I was also getting over my cold. I finally felt 98 percent better and was riding longer distances again, including the fun 60 mile ride that I did on my birthday. Then things blew apart again, so to speak, when I went over the handlebars during a slow speed crash on Saturday. At first I thought that I’d avoided injuring my ribs again, but then it hit me, and hard. My rib/s were causing me tremendous pain, and by Sunday night I was in pretty serious pain. So it's back to the drawing board for me.

The bottom line here is that I’ve been living with pain and discomfort from one thing or another for a while now, and I’m getting really tired of it. I need to get back to 100 percent.

This morning I spoke with my friend “J,” and she made me realize that one can actually die from broken ribs. A friend of hers died during his sleep after breaking a rib and then not tending to it. That said, I’m fairly certain that I don’t have a punctured lung, or heart, but it did make me think that I need to keep my goal within sight, and that’s to ride every day for a calendar year. I can only do that if I'm healthy, and I can do that without causing myself harm. So today I did my shortest ride since starting R2R. I rode for under an hour on a super comfortable full suspension bike. Although I feel like I didn’t work hard enough today to “justify” calling it a ride, I do believe that I did the right thing for myself. Believe me, I know that I’ll make up for today’s short ride at some point down the road. In looking at my Garmin information, I’m averaging 26 miles of riding per day, and that’s not too bad considering that more than half of my rides are on a mountain bike. Enough said about this… On a positive note, today I saw a beautifully kept 1975 BMW 3.0 CS, which is one of my favorite cars. I’m no longer a “car guy,” like I was during my teenage years, but I can still appreciate a car like this one. As a teenager I used to know every car, and their specifications, etc., etc. This Beemer was one of my favorites from that era, and it was just sitting there one quarter of the way up Mount Tamalpais. They had a wonderful style to them. I wonder how it drives?

I'm slightly embarrased to publish such a short ride, but it is what it is...

Distance: 6.26 miles Calories burned: 637 Time: 45:10 Elevation gain: 1,407 Garmin Connect ride details: http://connect.garmin.com/activity/19004320

Day 150: Day Two with Friends at China Camp

I didn’t expect to be riding at China Camp two days in a row. My original plan was to be riding out to Serenity Knolls for Partners in Recovery, but there was a little snafu with the dates that they published on their Web site. Fortunately my friend “J” clued me in on the error, so I didn’t ride all the way out there to find that there was no meeting. In the end it uncomplicated my schedule, so I was able to ride with my friends from the East Bay.

So the revised plan was to meet at China Camp for another day of riding on fun single track trails. We met at 8:00 am, and the temps were still in the 40’s, and I was as prepared as possible for the cold, but I was still chilled to the bone and ready to warm up by riding uphill.

I was riding with two old and dear friends, and two others that I’ve just met, and they’re all from the East Bay. We rolled up the main trail to the top of China Camp. No matter how good of shape I get into, that quarter mile climb on the asphalt, where the dirt trail ends, is simply not fun. I’m obviously willing to do it in order to get to the wonderful single track that's on the other side, but its 15-20% grades are simply atrocious. ;-) At the top we all reconvened and rested while enjoying the views from the top. We sat on the precise location of a former Nike Missile silo. They’re everywhere, and they used to be closely guarded secrets. This one was decommissioned decades ago, and now has a picnic bench on top of it. As always, the view of Mount Tam was beautiful, especially while taking a nature break. From there we headed down to J. T. Howell where we enjoyed a wonderful section of single track that runs through Manzanita, Oak trees, Scotch Broom, and then through a Redwood grove. The trail includes fun rock drop offs, narrow bridges, and narrow tree passages. It’s wonderful.

We rode back to the top from there, and then proceeded to descend back to the trails that are on the front side of the park. After leading the group up and over the summit, I decided to go last on the descent since I’m trying to nurse my broken rib/s (It feels like one). Banging around on a mountain bike isn’t the best way to heal. In fact, I may spend the rest of the week on my road bike. Anyway, we rolled down to the lower trail system where we had a blast. The bike that I rode today was so far superior to the one that I rode yesterday. I felt as though I was on rails as I pedaled through corner to corner. Ah, the benefits of technology.

On today’s ride there was one rider that was fighting gravity due to his weight. I’d say that he weighs in at about 240 lbs. He was a trooper, and did really well in keeping up. My friend “C” who weighs about 150 lbs., told him about my daily rides. “C” then asked how much weight I’ve lost. I don’t have a current nor accurate tally as I didn’t get my precise weight back in December of 2008, but I was somewhere in the 220 lbs range, and I’m now hovering around 175 lbs., and I eat like a horse in order to keep my weight loss slow and methodical. That oversized burrito last night was a good example. So I'd guess that I've lost at least 40 lbs. off of my mid-sized frame. I’m going to take off another 10-15 lbs. before I call it a day. So my new friend “S” was incredibly motivated about getting out on his bike more often. Go “S.”

My body is a bit sore from yesterday’s crash, and well, I’ve already told you about my ribs. I’m going to be good to myself and ride on the road more this week, as long as the rains stay away. I need to heal these ribs because it’s a constant dull pain right now that’s getting me a bit down.

“M,” “C,” “D,” and “S,” thanks for joining me on a fun ride today. Come back out here soon for some more fun…

 

Distance: 17.46 miles
Calories burned: 1,881
Time: 1:44:31 hours
Elevation gain: 3,271
Garmin Connect ride details: http://connect.garmin.com/activity/18840630