Day 195: A New Years Eve Ride with a Friend

Riding to Recovery has had so many twists and turns that I sometimes feel spun around like a tornado has hit me head on. I’ve met so many people that I never would have without doing my daily rides, and also being unnaturally open to conversation. I keep thinking about the “higher power” stuff that’s a part of the 12 step programs, and there quite simply must be something to it. I don’t mean on a religious level, but instead, on some other level that evokes communication and socialization with others. Is it a sense of community and family? I don't know yet, but I do know that I'll keep searching.

Today I rode with “E.” He and I met by chance a few months ago on Railroad Grade. I saw that he riding on a Fisher 29er, and we chatted for a while as we rode on up the hill. I gave him an R2R card, and he contacted me later on to tell me that he was in support of my R2R effort. We’ve stayed in touch, and today we were finally able to take a nice ride together.

In an Email, “E” had alluded to having some similar experiences to those of mine. Today he was able to share some of his story with me, and it does indeed include elements that are the same, or similar to mine. As I was trying to listen to him carefully, I was continually thinking to myself, “Why are there so many people, like us, living in painful situations?” It’s really amazing to me. Today “E” called himself a “codependent,” but isn’t that just another way of saying that this man cares about his partner, marriage, and family? I remembered just how I felt when I was trying to digest the term “codependent.” To this day I feel like I was forced into taking care of my alcoholic out of the sheer love and loyalty that I had felt for her, and my dedication to our marriage. The irony in that is that “N” never even wanted to marry me (I only found this out a little over a year ago), but she never told me that during our 13 years together, so I was never given the knowledge that I needed so that I could make a choice to stay or go. I simply, and naively, thought that I was trying to help my “life partner,” which is what I had grown up seeing as the basis for my parent's, and brother's marriages. If I were to have been given the choice, things would have been different for me. As I reflect on today's ride, I just want to remind "E" to keep on reaching out to people, like me, that are willing to listen.

Hearing the stories of those like “E” makes me feel lucky to have heard them, as painful as they are to hear, as they’re a clear reminder of life, and its true gifts. Some gifts are not what we ever thought that we’d receive, but we learn to deal with them, and to overcome them with dignity and grace.

“E” has used cycling in a similar way as I. He’s used it as way to balance his life. Several years ago he weighed in at about 250 lbs, and today I’d guess that he weighs in at 175 lbs. He rides regularly, and simply loves bicycles, old ones and new ones, and especially those that have big wheels. ;-) I like them too.

We rode up Railroad Grade today, and basically talked our way up to the West Point Inn where we took a break, and I took some photos. I really liked the view south today (pictured above).  “E” ended up taking some photos too. There was, what I presume was, an entire family up there with perhaps 20 people in the group. “E” was gracious as they handed him camera after camera in order to take photos of them. They liked him since he entertained them during the photo session. Nice work!

After we reached the summit of Mount Tamalpais we returned along the same route that we had taken up. We were having a blast on the way down. There were very few people on the mountain today, so we felt comfortable riding down at a higher speed.

As we hit the pavement at the bottom of Blithedale Canyon, we were quite ironically passed by “S,” another survivor of an alcoholic situation. She flashed her car lights at us as she headed over to do her run up the hill. There are so many of us that use exercise in order to return to real and true health.

Well, Happy New Year to all of you, and best wishes for the coming year.

Distance: 19.41 miles
Calories burned: 1,577
Time: 2:00:22 hours
Elevation gain: 2,338 ft
Garmin Connect ride details: http://connect.garmin.com/activity/21374281